Kirk folded his arms across his chest. "What's all this?"
"It has been three hours since you've had lunch, and I thought you might be experiencing hunger."
Yeah, right. Spock's tone was far too innocent. Kirk opened his mouth to tell Spock that he didn't need a babysitter, but when Spock set the tray on his desk what actually came out was, "Is that a steak?"
"Affirmative."
"This is the third time you've brought me some kind of meat. Aren't you a vegetarian?" Kirk asked, already reaching for the fork and knife.
Spock made a gesture that was almost like a shrug. He stood near Kirk’s desk, hands clasped behind his back as Kirk dug into the food. “Report on the ship’s status, sir. All is –”
“Spock. You didn’t come to my quarters just to feed me and tell me that all is well on the ship. Why are you really here?”
Spock apparently had the grace to know when he was busted. He didn't stall any longer. “I wished to inform you that I have shielded nearly all of your mind from my own. I will not hear your thoughts or feel your feelings unless they are inordinately strong or directed specifically at me.”
“Great,” Kirk said, pleased that Spock was taking his boundaries seriously.
“I also wished to tell you that I have not shielded my own mind from you in any way.”
“Come again?”
“You are my bondmate. My mind is open to you.”
Kirk blinked. “Are you sure that’s what you want? I’m not a telepath.”
“No, but you are able to hear me in your mind. It is true that I am uncertain of the extent of your abilities, but I welcome you to discover them. I would find your presence in my mind enjoyable."
Kirk blinked again. "No shields on your end at all?"
"No. I have no wish to raise barriers against you ever again. Everything I am is yours.”
Kirk opened his mouth, then shut it, then opened it, and shut it again.
“That is what I wished to tell you,” Spock said serenely, as if he hadn’t just dropped a bombshell on Kirk. “I will see you on the bridge when you have finished your paperwork.”
And he calmly left.
*****
Kirk tried to put the conversation out of his mind. He really did.
But it was impossible to deny his natural curiosity, and he couldn’t help but wonder what Spock’s mind would be like through the bond. There was little-to-no information available on Vulcan bonds – tight lipped bastards kept everything private. Spock certainly would have told him anything he wanted to know, but since Spock was the problem in the first place, Kirk wasn’t about to ask.
Still, there was no denying that there was something connecting him to Spock. Something that hummed and flitted at the back of Kirk’s mind, almost as if it had a life of its own. Kirk didn't think it really did but that was the only way he could think of it and stay sane, because whatever was in his head, it was absolutely enamored with Spock.
It wasn't new. Kirk had felt it before, back when Spock hadn't wanted anything to do with him. But the sensation had been weak then, and grown weaker still with every rejection Spock had made, until that warmth had been overpowered by a strange emptiness and unfamiliar aches in his head and heart.
But now - now the bond in Kirk's mind practically sang. Whatever new life Spock breathed into the bond had filled that emptiness in Kirk's mind until it overflowed, making the bond an unrelenting temptation for a human mind all too accustomed to loneliness. Kirk's mind was constantly waylaid with traitorous thoughts about Spock’s sexy voice, his cute pointy ears, his brilliant mind - and Kirk blamed every last thought on the bond. It was driving Kirk up the wall and testing his resolve to keep Spock at arm's length.
Kirk spent the two remaining days in orbit around Riidux III slowly going crazy – the bond was like a squealing teenage girl with a crush, and had Spock really said everything I am is yours? Since when did Vulcans have notions of romance, anyway? – and as he was entering the turbolift en route to the bridge, only half paying attention, he had a nasty surprise.
“Please hold the lift for me, Captain.”
“Lieutenant!” Kirk only just stopped his voice from squeaking. “I –” He swallowed. “Of course.”
He reluctantly pressed the “hold” button and allowed Lieutenant Uhura to enter the lift with him.
The doors slid shut.
“Computer, bridge.” Kirk resolutely stared straight in front of him, determined to be professional and act like nothing had happened.
Uhura, on the other hand, jammed her hand on a button that brought the entire lift to a halt.
Kirk’s eyes widened. “Please don’t kill me,” he started to say, but Uhura had thrown her arms around his neck in a - hug?
“Oh Jim, I’m so sorry,” she said, holding him tightly. “I had no idea.”
Tentatively, Kirk wrapped his arms around her waist in return. “Um,” he said, feeling a little surreal, trapped in the turbolift hugging Spock’s ex, who might have decided not to kill him. “Why are you sorry? You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“No, you don’t understand." She tilted her head up, and Kirk bent his down so she could could speak into his ear. "I’m the one who told Spock that you might be in love with him. That’s why he rejected you so thoroughly. I didn't know you were bondmates, that he was making you sick."
"It's not a big deal - "
“Yes, it is. Look, I liked Spock a lot, but Jim, when Spock told me what he'd done to you and I realized why you looked like you did on the bridge the other day - " Her grip tightened around his neck, and she pressed her cheek to his. "I'm so glad you're okay.”
There was a whistle, and Spock’s voice came over the intercom. “Captain, is everything in order? Why has the turbolift halted?”
“He’s with me and he’s fine, Commander,” Uhura snapped, and although she had said Commander, Kirk heard asshole loud and clear.
“I see.” Spock, clearly, had heard it too. The intercom turned off.
The predictable feeling coursed through Kirk a moment later. Spock was thinking about Kirk and Uhura alone in the turbolift together. “You made him jealous,” he said to Uhura.
“Good.” She pulled back, but left her arms loosely entwined around Kirk’s neck. She smiled at him with her beautiful smile. “Let him suffer.” She got serious again. “Are you furious with me?”
“What? No,” Kirk said honestly. “You should be mad at me. I was crazy about your boyfriend.”
Uhura shook her head, sending her long ponytail tumbling over her shoulders. “You never made a move beyond trying to spend a little time with him,” she said. "I'm mad at him for not even bothering to be your friend. And I'm even madder at myself," she added ruefully, "for encouraging him to shoot you down."
“Just how mad is mad?" Kirk said, with the same teasing smile he'd used on her back in a bar in Riverside on a night that felt like a lifetime ago. "Mad enough you'll let me call you by your first name?"
She laughed. "Don't push your luck," she said, and with one last hug with the arms around his neck, let go. She pressed the button to resume their course.
Seconds later, the doors opened onto the bridge. Spock was staring at the lift, looking slightly mutinous, which for Spock meant he was pissed.
“Take care of yourself, Captain,” Uhura said sweetly, squeezing his arm before going to her station – only pausing to shoot one of the dirtiest looks Kirk had ever seen at Spock.
Kirk grinned and briefly considered putting a commendation in her file.
